Posts tagged ‘previews’

Things Jill Hates #2

Hellboy 2

The second installment of the ‘Hellboy’ series personally offends me.

I’m not kidding.  Based on previews alone (and believe, that’s ALL I need to see to make this full and completely factual analysis), this movie is likely to be the most beautifully crafted piece of shit to ever come to the big screen.

Let’s review (once again, my review extends only to previews I have painfully and unknowingly been forced to sit through):
The movie (ahem, the SECOND movie) is about an ugly-looking half-monster/half-man, who in one preview actually goes so far as to spit out a quote like ‘WHAT?  I KNOW I’M UGLY!’  This ugly-monster man and his ‘badass’ token girl sidekick (Selma Blair acting even more dim-witted than ever thought possible) are part of a super-secret underground organization created to take out the ‘things that go bump in the night.’  Direct quote.  Did I mention that the monster-man goes by the name ‘Hellboy?’  Oh, I did?

I don’t even think I need to go any further.  If this explanation, along with the extraordinarily crass half-hearted NBC promotions (not only is Ron Perlman the most terrifying person I have EVER seen, but he actually still looks like the character Hellboy in real life), haven’t offended you….Well, I’m just going to have to go ahead and question your taste.  In anything.

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July 11, 2008 at 3:35 am Leave a comment


Look at THESE too, yo

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