Jager Bomb! Jager Bomb!

April 21, 2008 at 11:42 pm Leave a comment

3 Things You Should Not Do:

1. You should never write about your job on a blog. Even more importantly, you should not name superiors by first AND LAST name, write about how much you HATE them and their workplace, and then enable GOOGLE SEARCHING of said blog. Doing so will result not only in months of office gossip, but in some cases, coworkers may actually print your comments and keep a hard copy of them for many years to come. It’s a good thing you never contributed to our company to begin with! [Yes, this happened. No, it was not me.]

2. You should never expect people to create multimedia presentations and then NOT be sure that your computer has the oh-so-rare (and by rare I mean not rare at all) capabilities to play a DVD. What kind of computer can’t play DVDs??? A PC, that’s what kind. [On THAT note: You should never buy a PC. Everyone knows Macs make you appear much sexier, technology-savvy, and all-around badass.]

3. This one goes out to abcnews.com! You should never make a guide to a hit teen drama a TOP STORY on your website for a good portion of a day. I could be way off here, but informing people about what happened last season on Gossip Girl might be slightly less important than, oh, I don’t know, something like this?

BUT WAIT! On a less pessimistic note, 3 Things You Should Definitely Do:

1. You should get a new haircut. And maybe think about popping your collar, because you are the fuckin’ man, and everyone should know it.

2. You should go get a kebab. Right now.

3. You should eat some motherfuckin’ grapes and look at this sweet ass dog.


Entry filed under: don't do THIS, Uncategorized. Tags: , , .

I’m getting married! Ain’t nothin but wordssss

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Look at THESE too, yo

Does anyone actually READ this?

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"It's like you're trying to tell me something - I KNOW IT!"

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