Everybodylovesjill’s Weblog

Until very recently, I thought the fact that I owned a $44 Coach clutch was a REALLY big deal. After years of searching for great sale-finds and typically only buying one article of clothing from a store at a time, I finally gave in to what (I mistakenly believed) was the inevitable. I got a designer item. Nevermind that I bought this item from an outlet mall in the middle of Missouri. It was brand-name recognizable, it was beautiful, and it was mine. I owned an unnecessary material item and it felt good.

No longer.

In yet another example of my generally total innocence towards much of what is going on when I’m not around, I know people who own both (a) Chanel bags and (b) Hermes scarves. People who frequent Marc Jacobs and BCBG Maximara (Is that even right?!?). $355 for a scarf? No problem. I’m only 21. And I mean, it all goes on my parent’s bill, so what do I care?

Daddy’s credit card aside, I am still REELING over this discovery. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’ve watched every episode of The Hills, and I even (GASP!) own some Laguna Beach DVDS, but I didn’t think this shit was ACTUALLY REAL. My sad, naive, little fasionista-lacking self naturally assumed that this was simply a Sex and the City, gossip column -fabricated existence.

BUT NO, there are really those out there who drop hundreds for SCARVES and then brag about it on their blogs. I mean, feeding the hungry? Earning your own money? Appreciating the little things in life instead of indulging in excess? Nope.

Damn, I feel like such a sad little match girl…minus the death part. Well, and my comparatively luxurious middle-class life. But still. Not enough. We must die for fashion (or at least wipe out our bank accounts), after all.

Internet Dating Tributes

There is nothing that irks me more than the all-too-common boyfriend- (or even on occasion girlfriend-) shoutout.

These shoutouts and tributes to someone’s ‘one and only!’ can be found all over the internet, particularly the popular social networking sites facebook and myspace.  Young girls and guys in budding relationships (and in most cases, in need of some attention/self-esteem), love nothing more than to declare their love! for their significant other AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE!

The most common ways to sufficiently express your love include:
(a) The ‘interests’ section
“Hi, I’m Suzy!  My interests include dogs, reading, the beach, obscure Indian tapestries, and of course my AMAZING BOYFRIEND TOM!!!!!!!!!”
(b) The ‘about me’ section
“I’m just a fun-loving girl who loves to meet new people, travel to exotic countries, participate in live-action role playing games, and of course spend time with my AMAZING BOYFRIEND TOM!!!!!!!!!!!”
(c) Any other section you can think of
“My music faves are Miley Cirus, Jonas Bros, Avril, Hilary, and now Coldplay thanks to my AMAZING BOYFRIEND TOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

The more exclamation points, the better.

Editor’s note: I try not to be a negative person (’tis not good for the soul), but I just find some things obnoxious, okay?  Take this all with a grain of salt….I’m not a vicious person, promise.

Moments of clarity — even those that you probably should have come to long ago — are so refreshing.

It’s been right about 2 years since I hit arguably the lowest I have ever been in my (admittedly young) life. Note: I’m the opposite of self-pitying, and I always, always think you should put your suffering into perspective - and thus stop thinking your shit’s so bad - especially with the kind of privileged life I’ve had for the past 21 years.

BUT, 2 years ago I told myself I was going to learn how to be independent. I was going to learn how to WANT to do things alone. Learn how to eat alone and feel good about it. Learn not to depend on other people to hold me up. Learn how to be okay by myself, before I could be okay with anyone else. And goddammit, I did it. Yeah, it’s left me with some issues I’m still working out, but hey, I’m one of the most independent people I know, and I think (maybe) that it shows.

I guess this is leading to a big philosophical thought (bam!):

You’re no good to anyone if you don’t know how to be good to yourself (I know, I could be writing an inspirational novel right now, gross).

I genuinely, completely believe that you have to learn how to be independent. And, having done that myself, it’s so f-ing fulfilling. Yeah, you need other people, but spending a day every now and then by myself is one of the most refreshing things I’ve found yet in life.

But, then again, I haven’t even hit the real world yet. So give me 5 years, perhaps.

And now I’ll stop saying ‘I.’  Self-absorption killed the cat, yo.

Okay, this blog is gonna happen.  Sure, it’s having a pretty slow start, but it’s all about nurturing and patience before something really grows and takes off, right?

Extended metaphors aside, I’m doing some blog research and kind of trying to decide where to take this blogging business.  It’ll take me a while, but hang with me, and I’ll do my best to figure it out.

For now, some spliced-together thoughts:

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I wish there was a punctuation mark that came between the period(.) and the exclamation point(!).<—[period used for lack of better punctuation]  I often find myself writing something online and finding a period making my thought seem too harsh and an exclamation too eccentric (and generally tool-ish).

Example #1:  “It’s hard for me to speak with you when you go offline so quickly.”
“It’s hard for me to speak with you when you go offline so quickly!”

Example #2:  “You are a very large baked potato.”
“You are a very large baked potato!”

Those examples are terrible (perhaps I will change them when I inevitably stumble upon a couple real-life examples in the coming days), but you see my dilemma here?  Conveying emotion online is kind of obnoxious.  Sort of the reason I’ve been off AIM for the past month-ish.

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I can’t believe I didn’t know David Bowie played Andy Warhol in the film ‘Basquiat.’  Slash I can’t believe it’s taken me this long to see that movie.  Aside from the part where Warhol dies (I could’ve done without the Basquiat-watching-old-videos-and-crying montage), it’s a fascinating movie - especially considering the fact that the director, Julian Schnabel, was a prominent artist at the same time as Basquiat.  I’ve always meant to see Schnabel’s stuff (the directing stuff that is), but didn’t do it until today.  I’m still turning it over in my mind, but I think I like it.

—-
Did you know Girl Talk is just a mash-up of other songs/beats?  I’m kind of digging it.

The movie industry is, in my opinion, becoming out of control.  And not in a wow-there-are-so-many-big-budget-movies-out-right-now!! kind of way.  More like an are-there-no-original-ideas-in-the-world? kind of way.

Case in point:  the INDIE movie theatre in my area is playing Indiana Jones.  Now, yes, this may be the decision of that particular theatre - but 6 months ago there were hardly any big budget movies playing in said theatre - not to mention big budget action films.  Indiana Jones #4?  Really?

Even more bothersome is the increasing number of movies being ripped off of books.  To be fair, this is something I’ve had a problem with for years.  It’s like those kids everyone knows (or is) who watch the movie version to get by without reading the book.  ’Why read the book when I could watch the movie?’ has always bothered me.  

A study released just last November by the National Endowment for the Arts found ’startling declines’ in the number and proficiency of Americans reading books.  [NPR discussion about the study here]  Now, personally, I’ve always lived with a book in my purse at all times - it doesn’t have to be the most intelligent piece of literature ever made, but just to be reading makes you a better person - and that’s not just my opinion.

So why aren’t we reading anymore?  The answer isn’t hard.  How many times have we discussed technology in our age?  The rise of video gaming?  The subsequent rise in childhood obesity?  The possible detrimental effects of standardized testing on originality and creativity?

This, like all discussions, could go on forever.  But in closing I’d just like to say that when I was younger, my mom made us read every night before we went to bed.  And I will never stop being grateful to her for instilling that value in me.  I’ll be doing the same for my kids, if anyone’s keeping track.

First off, wordpress just alerted me to the fact that, for the low low price of $15 a year, I could make this everybodylovesjill.com — an idea I should not have liked as much as I did. If ever I find myself in the position to have my own website (it’ll take a lot, really though), I am SO doing that. (Side note: check out the song ‘Everybody Loves Jill’ by Cowboy Mouth. ‘Tis this site’s inspiration.)

Alright now, the post:

Summer. It’s a queer time of year, esp for those under the age of 22(ish). Many of us, at least many of those I know, are pushed to use our summers to the absolute max - stressing ourselves out over getting the perfect internship and moving to places like New York to gain experience worthy of a good resume. Still others are pushed to take more classes and work as many hours as possible. All this pushing tends to lead to questions like, ‘Wait, but am I doing enough?’

I sometimes yearn for the days of waking up every morning at 10, watching the Price is Right and Unsolved Mysteries, eventually getting dressed and (maybe) making my bed, and getting on the computer or going to the park. If only we could enjoy our stress-free childhoods as much as we inevitably end up wishing we did.

I find myself in a state of, ‘Is what I’m doing a waste of time?’ right now, and I hate it. I hate thinking that just because I’m not doing yet another internship, I might not be okay in the real world a year from now. Yes, this is my last summer at home and yes, my family mean more to me than a lot of 21-yr-olds families mean to them (at least in the sense of how much time they really want to spend together), but I still can’t help but feel regret for not chasing down some crazy dream job for the summer.

The solution: I’ve been telling myself lately that there are a lot of people my age who are doing basically nothing with their lives. And who’s to say it’s nothing anyways? After years and years of being pushed to take as many upper-level classes as possible and get as many things on my resume as possible, who says I’m not entitled to spend my last summer working full-time at a company that has nothing to do with my future career?

I don’t know who exactly says these things that make me feel useless if I’m not interning at some big-name TV station, but I have a sneaking suspicion that there are some questions I’m never going to escape. So maybe I’m not doing the most I possibly could - I have the rest of my life lined up, what’s a few months off going to hurt? Not much, I hope I hope.

#1 on my list of things people should learn how to do:

Communicate.

In literally every aspect of life, communication would make everything a whole lot easier.  War, sex, drugs (okay, maybe not drugs actually)..inter-personal relationships in general, though, could use a new definition of the word communicating.  I mean, open communication doesn’t actually exist.  Ever.  No matter how much you can say, ‘I could tell that person anything!’ you never actually do.  There’s always something with everyone that just isn’t ever said.  And in most cases, that something is a whole lot bigger than ‘I don’t like those shoes you’re wearing.’

Maybe this isn’t the worst thing.  Maybe I don’t want to know that my best friend doesn’t agree with everything I do or say.  But when you don’t say one thing, that one thing can quickly become a big thing, or a lot of things.  And call me crazy, but no matter how much I don’t like criticism, I don’t like the aftermath of the many things that haven’t been said a lot more.

Like many things in life, I’m probably never going to have a solution for this.  I’m also probably never going to stop not telling everyone everything.  But maybe if we all just got a little better at saying what was on our minds and dealing with it before it became an issue, the world could get just a little better, a step at a time.  ((Ignore how cheesy it is to end this post here.))

3 Things You Should Not Do:

1. You should never write about your job on a blog. Even more importantly, you should not name superiors by first AND LAST name, write about how much you HATE them and their workplace, and then enable GOOGLE SEARCHING of said blog. Doing so will result not only in months of office gossip, but in some cases, coworkers may actually print your comments and keep a hard copy of them for many years to come. It’s a good thing you never contributed to our company to begin with! [Yes, this happened. No, it was not me.]

2. You should never expect people to create multimedia presentations and then NOT be sure that your computer has the oh-so-rare (and by rare I mean not rare at all) capabilities to play a DVD. What kind of computer can’t play DVDs??? A PC, that’s what kind. [On THAT note: You should never buy a PC. Everyone knows Macs make you appear much sexier, technology-savvy, and all-around badass.]

3. This one goes out to abcnews.com! You should never make a guide to a hit teen drama a TOP STORY on your website for a good portion of a day. I could be way off here, but informing people about what happened last season on Gossip Girl might be slightly less important than, oh, I don’t know, something like this?

BUT WAIT! On a less pessimistic note, 3 Things You Should Definitely Do:

1. You should get a new haircut. And maybe think about popping your collar, because you are the fuckin’ man, and everyone should know it.

2. You should go get a kebab. Right now.

3. You should eat some motherfuckin’ grapes and look at this sweet ass dog.

I was going to write a post about this, but then I decided to write about something entirely different.

As a girl, it’s only natural that I think about my wedding ALL THE TIME! After a long day, I love to come home and, after an hour of bitching about how much better my life would be if I had a man (guys are such assholes!), I like nothing better than to whip out my computer and start searching for the perfect dresses and rings. Since, like many of my fellow women, I’ve been taking part in this delightful and totally rewarding ritual since I was about 8, it’s only natural that I would, by now, have a pretty divine picture of exactly what the MOST PERFECT DAY OF MY LIFE will look like. Here’s the low down:

The Wedding of Jill and Mr. Right(!)
Day: December 25
Theme: Christmas
Colors: red and green
Flower: poinsettia with holly and mistletoe accents
Food: cookies, mince-meat pie, candy canes, christmas ham, figgy pudding
Drink: egg nog and mulled wine
Band: Nativity themed Christmas cover band
Song: ‘Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays’ by N’Sync

Please RSVP via the Christmas card-themed invitation you are currently holding. All gifts must come wrapped in holiday-themed paper. Reindeer antlers and santa hats will be provided - your choice. Each guest will be given the option to decorate their own ornament and/or Christmas cookie - you can even take them home!

That’s what I’ve got so far. I’m currently ironing out the details, but don’t worry, I’ve got years in which to continue obsessing about ONE DAY in the grand scheme of my life. Commence on-going search for a husband, of which you KNOW consumes every moment of my existence. And the perfect dress. My wedding (and, perhaps, my life) means nothing without the perfect dress.

((Special thanks to Sara for the future planning of said wedding!))

I don’t really know how to blog. So we’ll see this as a nice little experiment. Or (I mean, let’s be honest), an expression of my thoughts in a much more stylistically eloquent way than would ever happen in my real life. With the exception of well-established or specialty blogs, like my personal favorite, I’ve always thought most people’s online self-expressions were either (a) boring, (b) unnecessarily emo or (c) an effort to be Chuck Klosterman (side note: Chuck Klosterman started out at a newspaper! hope for all journalists).

I hope that this blog will be much better than my awkwardly adolescent and slightly embarrassing xanga (check out how far back that goes though! at least I was impressively devoted to my angst), but no promises. But 21 (almost!) isn’t that much less angsty than 16 if you ask me — we just get better at hiding it with things like sarcasm and expletives.

Feel free to comment, trash, hate, or love on this as you please. Just tell me what’s up — I’d rather know that you’re reading my blog out loud to your various roommates and friends (in a voice that you think properly encapsulates what you feel is the stupidity of my thoughts, I’m sure…I mean, that’s what we do) than not..but to be clear, make fun as you’d like — I do it to everyone else, so I can’t hate on those who do it to me. Controversy is the best publicity, you know.